Two years ago today, I met a cute little Italian girl at a church event.
This morning, I woke up next to her. I got up and walked down the hall, past the room where our daughter is sleeping, to our living room, to write this.
I met my dream girl and married her. Two years ago, I never would have guessed today was coming.
Here’s how it worked for me.
I always felt like I was built for marriage. I never wanted to be with a bunch of different girls. I just wanted one. I felt like I was always meant to find that one girl and be her very shiny knight in very shiny armor. I was just having trouble finding her, and getting awfully bitter about it.
On January of 2009, I felt compelled to write down a description of my dream girl. A verbal sketch of the (probably imaginary) woman I’d been longing for. For some reason, I posted it on my blog.
I’d been annoyed with God for some time for denying me my girl. Trouble is, every time I’d meet a new girl, my first thought would be “ooh! maybe it’s her!”
Side note: desperation is not sexy.
So, I’d been more and more annoyed with God, more and more tense, until I finally gave up. That is, I surrendered. Here’s what I wrote in my journal on Valentine’s Day, 2009:
Lead me, Lord. Here it is. I offer you my attractions. My desire to find a wife. My reactions to women. Please, take it all, and use it how you see fit. Please, please… tell me when to speak and when to stay silent. Who to pursue and who to let go. When to persist and when to give up. What desires and clean, and which are unclean. Which please you, and which do not. I’m asking for wisdom, which you have promised to give. I know you want me to have discernment, and to live by the principles you have set down. I know you want me to give you lordship over my life. I know you love me and want the best for me.
So I guess I have to trust you. Okay. I trust you. Please forgive me and correct me when I don’t.
I told God that the only way I’d do it is His way. He told me I should wait, but I wouldn’t have to wait long.
Jen and I met on February 28, 2009.
Our first date was March 16.
We became an official couple on March 26.
I proposed on June 26.
We got married on November 6.
Throughout those few months, I wasn’t desperate. I wasn’t the needy, self-centered pseudo-romantic I’d been. I was more like the guy I always wanted to be.
I wish it were always that simple. I wish I could say “pray this prayer, and you’ll find your soulmate.” It’s not that simple. It won’t always work like that.
But for me, the answer to loneliness was surrender.
My daughter Addison is finally here, and she’s teh cuteness.
My past two weeks have been consumed with fetching her things, staring at her slack-jawed, and trying everything I can think of to get her to stop crying.
I’ve never been this in love. It’s ridiculous. As sleep-deprived and frustrated as I get, I’ll still look down at her after a long night, and my heart just falls out from under me. She’s amazing. I’d kill for her. I’m rearranging my life around hers, and I’m not thinking twice about it.
It makes me wonder why we hate noobs.
The fact is, she has no idea how to keep herself alive. And what she does know, she can’t do for herself. She depends on me to show her how the world works and help her navigate it.
And we’ve all been there.
In life, as in games, we regularly find ourselves in spots where we’re out of our league, and we need help. We need grace, not scorn. We need patience, not judgment.
How pathetic would I be if I laughed in Addie’s face when she sucked on her thumb? “LOLZ n00b you cant get milk from thumb EATING FAIL”
What do we expect? Everyone starts out as as newbie. You used to be one, too.
And guess what? You still are now. Everyone’s a noob at something. I’m learning how to be a pastor; my friend is learning how to be social; my daughter is learning how to sleep.
So next time you’re on Xbox Live or WOW and someone pipes up with a dumb question, try stifling the snide comment and giving them an answer instead.
Show some grace. Be helpful. Love a noob.
What have your newbie experiences been like? Have you found helpful people? Or have you been mocked for your innocent ignorance?