Monthly Archives: October 2010

Nazi Zombies: The Pumpkin



Carved by Kyle Cronin


I Like My Vampires Dark and Brooding

Pastor Michael will tell you that vampires are supposed to be hideous, irredeemable beasts. The Dracula from the novel? A wild-eyed monster trying to pass for a man. Nosferatu? A walking nightmare. None of this sparkly stuff.

My favorite take on vampires is the Anne Rice / World of Darkness option. These are the decadent, seductive vampires that burn in daylight and lose humanity as they age. They see themselves as superhuman, as beyond morality by virtue of their predatory immortality.

But – and here’s the part I love – there are some among them that struggle with their sinister urges. They agonize over their corrupted natures, fighting the blood-thirst that roils inside. Do I even have a soul to save? they wonder. How can I keep living this un-life without hurting or destroying those around me?

It’s all dramatic and stuff.

I love that take on vampires because it opens the door for redemption stories.

Not stories that say “oh, they’re not that bad.” Stories of twisted, broken creatures whose nature is to harm… who strive to overcome. Who find healing, who find purpose beyond their own survival.

I love those stories because I know how wicked I am inside. And I know that God has saved me from that wickedness, and is redeeming my life more and more, day by day.

It’s not a perfect metaphor. The repentant vampires have only willpower on their side. The Christian has the Holy Spirit, who makes all the difference in the world.

But there is one other worthwhile comparison: for each, the only way to live is to drink blood.


Ladies and Gentlemen, the YouTube Effect, or Progressive Recombinant Absurdity.

Phase 1: Amusing Clip

Fig. 1: a terrifying rooster (above)

Phase 2: Funny Mashup

Fig. 2: a terrifying rooster + death metal (above)

Phase 3: Hilaridiculous

Fig. 3: a terrifying rooster + death metal + cockatoo fan (above)

This post brought to you by the Know Your Meme Death Metal Rooster page.